My Babe Bee

I've met a wonderful man, and I think we're going to have a beautiful relationship together. He followed me out of the bank the other day, and spontaneously bought me flowers! Actually he held up the flowers and said that he wished he could buy them for me, but he'd left his wallet at home ... so I bought the flowers, and we laughed and walked and talked and he told me all about himself ... I mean, how could I resist?

I'm bringing home a baby bumble bee

Won't my mama be so proud of me

I'm bringing home a baby bumble bee

Oooowee, it stung me.

I probably should have resisted. Never trust a man. Why didn't read those articles in SELF magazine more carefully; I probably could have avoided this. The man is married, okay? Married, a thief, and a lousy lover too. I definitely should have resisted.

I'm squishing up my baby bumble bee

Won't Gloria Steinem be so proud of me

I'm squishing up my baby bumble bee

Oooowee, it's all over me.

I've got to do something about my life; I can't believe this has happened to me again. I'm thinking of starting a line of evil voodoo greeting cards ...

I'm licking up my baby bumble bee

Don't want evidence of my stupidity

I'm licking up my baby bumble bee

Ooo – oh – Ooo – oh – Ooo

Oh, you know I was still nurturing a tender broken heart when my Visa bill rolled in, up to its limit in purchases I don't recall making, and oddly enough, old Mr. Married-Head's phone has been disconnected. But you know, it really doesn't matter. Tonight I went for the first time to a New Age support group that I read about in the newspaper ... and I'm already beginning to feel my anger dissolve away.

I'm throwing up my baby bumble bee

Won't my bulimic past lives be so proud of me

I'm throwing up my baby bumble bee

Ooo-ohm

Meditation and therapy take up a lot of my time now. But that's all right – I have very little money to go out since I starting donating 80% of my wages to the Crystal Light and Breakfast Cereal Healing Centre. I've learned to laugh and play like a child all over again. The married man and creditors' notices mean nothing compared to the personal development I feel in my deep and centred heart.

I realize that I am in love with my instructor. There is a light in his eyes as bright as the aura around his head. With our mantras, we channel the world's energy into him and the orgasms are like lightning through the mirror of my soul. Ooo-eee. Never trust a man? I can't believe I said that once.

I'm bringing home another bumble bee

Won't my mama be so proud of me

I'm bringing another baby bumble bee

Oooo-ooo-weeee