I Like You Better When You're Not Around

Long, long ago in the years BC

The women used to gossip while they made their tea

It's been our method of survival, right from the start

But girl you've really gone and turned it into an art



After I see you I feel as dirty as hell

Like you've contaminated me with that peculiar smell

That comes from dishing up the dirt on all your closest friends

"I mean like what the hell is with her, I mean, no offence"



So please don't take it to heart

When I say can we start to spend time apart

But frankly my dear

This friendship is toxic

Like a fox and a hound



I like you better when you're not around



Don't wanna hear about your bitchy scene

And I don't really care who gave who what disease

As if I don't even know you say just the same about me

Do you really think I'm that naive?



I L-I-K-E you better when you are N-O-T around